Learn to Let Go of the Past and Move Forward on a Path with Purpose
Hello and welcome to another step on a Path with Purpose. This week, our focus is essential to personal growth: Letting Go of the past to gain true independence!
The truth is, it is very hard to move forward on your path or climb up the mountain when you’re carrying a whole bunch of boulders with you. Letting go of the past is just as important as focusing on a bright future. I know sometimes it’s hard to believe but your future can be much different, much better than your past.
Understanding how to release the programs created by past grievances and resentments can liberate you from the chains that hold you back, enabling you to move forward with clarity and purpose. Holding on to negativity from your past is never healthy.
I love the good memories, but holding on to grievances can be like trying to climb a mountain while carrying a backpack full of stones. Every failure, grudge, resentment, or unhealed hurt becomes another stone, and each negative thought makes it harder and harder for you to reach the top of the mountain. Which becomes yet another stone…
The Importance of Letting Go
Letting go of the past hurts and failures, isn’t about condoning past wrongs; it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional baggage that hinders your growth. We carry resentment like a chip on our shoulder and it only hurts us. The resentment program holds all grievances, grudges, offenses, and resentments activated throughout our lifetime.
These unresolved emotions are stored in the subconscious and can be triggered by various conflicts, leading to a cycle of anger, regret, and self-sabotage. This program began developing in childhood, influencing our behaviors and reactions. Understanding and releasing these stored grievances is crucial for personal freedom.
Real Life Example:
I have been divorced for about 30 years. I realized about a year ago that every time I see a big chunk of onion in meatloaf, I remember him pushing his plate away from him and saying “What is this? Onion loaf?”
It made me feel like a failure because I disappointed him. I tried and failed. He could have been grateful and wasn’t. That story is a boulder in my backpack that I didn’t need to carry. He liked onions, but he wanted me to use a cheese grater so they would be super fine. Many times I did. Obviously, that day I didn’t.
Regardless, I don’t need to think about him every time I see a big chunk of onion. It’s been 30 years!
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not about excusing the actions of others. Instead, it’s a rational process of freeing yourself from the burden of past grievances. Here are the ten aspects of forgiveness that can help you on this journey:
Forgiveness Does Not Mean Condoning: Releasing anger and grudges does not mean you condone the actions that caused them.
Forgiveness is Rational: Carrying past grievances into the present is like trying to move forward with a 300lb backpack. Impossible if you want to live in peace.
Forgiveness is About You: Your growth and wellbeing should be your top priority.
Forgiveness Weakens the Ego: Releasing the Resentment Program weakens the ego’s hold on your life.
Forgiveness Releases the Identity: It helps you let go of past failures and missteps.
Forgiveness Changes Your State: It transforms your energy and vibration, leading to a more positive reality.
Forgiveness Releases All Grudges: Letting go of all grudges, even those tied to historical events or public figures, is essential.
Forgiveness is the First Step to Freedom: It moves you from a reactive state to a responsive state.
Forgiveness is Surrendering: Letting go and surrendering to higher energies like acceptance and reason.
Forgiveness Connects You to Your Purpose: It aligns you with your true purpose and higher self.
The Let Go Technique
The Let Go Technique is a powerful tool to release past grievances and gain independence. It is a game changer if you can remember to do it. Awareness is always the key because first you have to realize what you’re thinking. You have to notice that you’re not paying attention to this very moment.
You have to acknowledge that your mind is moving towards stories of the past or what might happen in the future. But you can do it if you put your mind to it. That ego is tricky so you have to learn to think from your heart. That’s where your true self lives.
Letting Go of the Past Starts with Awareness
When you have the same memory playing over and over in your mind, and it’s not something that serves you, it is time to Let Go! The stories of the past are programs that do not serve you. They have nothing to do with your current reality, and only makes life harder.
Using my example of the onions: When I had this memory, it flooded me with emotion. The emotion was that I failed. That I wasn’t good enough. It made me think that my one job was to be a good wife, and I couldn’t cut the mustard.
But when you get rid of all the junk that you carry, and start to set down the stones, you make room for good things.
I’m not a failure because I didn’t chop the onions small enough. I like seeing the onion. END OF STORY. Better yet - No story at all!
I didn’t need to carry that stone any longer, so I let it go using the Let Go Technique.
A Step by Step Guide to the Let Go Technique
Notice the negative stories that repeatedly run through your head. They happen all the time, and sometimes you won't even realize you are in one! In time, you will learn to catch yourself when you tell you why you can't try this new thing you want, or that you arent smart enough to have a position you know could perform well in.
Those are the programs that we need to release, and next time you catch yourself in a loop, ask yourself these four simple questions:
Can I Allow This Feeling?
Begin by acknowledging your emotions without judgment. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, knowing that it’s okay to feel this way.
The answer should always be yes… Can I allow this feeling? YES- you are allowed to feel any way you choose!
Could I Let This Go?
Explore the possibility of releasing the emotion. Consider if you could be flexible and neutral about it.
(Could I see this differently?) Most of the time we can let it go if we want to.
Would I Let This Go?
Assess your willingness to release the emotion. Decide if you are ready to re-identify what you feel and choose forgiveness - or release of some kind.
For me this question is all about the willingness. Do I want to stay upset for some reason? Am I getting some fulfillment out of being mad at another person or feeling bad about a situation? Or am I willing to just release that emotion for once and for all?
When Will I Let This Go?
Answer "NOW!" if you can. It’s important to acknowledge that you are no longer connected to that program.
Split the “I” and become the observer, rather than experiencing the emotion. Detaching from the emotion and letting it pass through enables you to release the emotion entirely.
Write these questions out on index cards and post-it notes, and put them anywhere you are on a regular basis. If you're using the Let Go Technique right, you’ll be doing it all day long, especially at first.
So many of my programs, like the onions, were very deep seeded. What’s worse is they were like weeds! I would let them go, but the second I looked away, they came back. After a few weeks of using the Let Go Technique, I added a physical aspect to help set it in place.
As I answered "NOW!" I would blow away of this story like you would blow a kiss. Then I would just physically picture this gray matter flying off into the universe. It is no longer mine to carry. That worked for me, maybe the added touch will work for you too.
Practical Daily Practices for Maintaining Independence from the Programs
Setting the Day
Start your day with intention, setting your nervous system in the Green Zone. This prevents the ego from locking you into a negative state. Of course, I am going to recommend my favorite way to start the day, The Purpose Power Hour!
Closing the Day
An evening routine is also important. Here are a few ideas for closing the day:
Keep a gratitude journal next to your bed. Write down at least three things that you are grateful for every single night. I make it a challenge by not repeating the same things over and over.
A hot bath is an excellent way to end the day. Try lavender essential oil and Epsom salt.
Meditating at night can help close the day with stillness.
Sit in a quiet place with your eyes closed and picture your life with all your wishes fulfilled. Allow yourself to feel the emotion and the joy in your heart.
Evening Journal
Lots of us live stressful lives and we need our bedtime to be as rejuvenating as possible. Keep a journal of daily grievances and practice the Let Go Technique if necessary. This helps ensure the resentment program doesn’t restructure itself.
I know this may sound a little bit weird because we’re supposed to forgive and forget and here, I’m asking you to think about it and write it down. But that is so you won’t hold on to it. If you think back on the day and you remember something that really ticked you off, or something that somebody said that wasn’t very nice, recall it intentionally.
Get it out of your mind; get it out of your heart and get it onto the paper. Now you can go to bed with a clean slate. This will allow you to process the event and let it go instead of holding on to it and creating a bigger and bigger story as time goes on.
Letting Go of the Past is Possible on a Path with Purpose
Gaining independence by letting go of the past is a transformative process that requires consistent effort and self-compassion. As you work on the process of letting go you will realize that there are many things that you’ve been holding on to that you hadn’t thought of before.
I have had countless times that the forgiveness that I’m seeking is forgiveness for myself. Forgoveness for my shortcomings, for things that I did wrong, or things that I could have done differently. Forgiving yourself is very important. Never forget it!
By practicing forgiveness and the Let Go Technique, you can free yourself from the emotional burdens that hold you back, allowing you to live a life aligned with your true purpose. Remember, this journey is about you and your growth.
Embrace the process, and watch as you transform into the person you were always meant to be.
If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them!
Until next time,
Live Every Day On Purpose 🩵
- Peggy